Why Self-Compassion is the Answer

Whatever you're dealing with right now, self-compassion can make things better. 

Self-compassion is all about your self-talk. Self-talk is basically the things you say to yourself. Allll day long we are talking to ourselves. Separating yourself from your thoughts is helpful so you can start to analyze your self-talk. 

Let's talk about what self-compassion is not....self-compassion is not pity. It is not placing blame. It is not wallowing. It is not saying to yourself, "You poor thing. You deserve to feel bad, this is awful." It is not self-critical. I think so many of our thoughts are self-critical and we don't even realize it. It is not saying to yourself, "You should get over it. It wasn't even that bad." 

Self-compassion is-

1. Allowing your emotions to be. Just be. Don't judge your emotions or think that you shouldn't feel them; acknowledge them. 

2. Telling yourself things ARE really hard. Seeing more clearly the facts associated with the pain you're in, and acknowledging the facts in an observant, unbiased kind of way without letting other emotions of anger, bitterness, jealousy, sadness, etc. take you away. 

3. Recognizing the steps you can take to improve your situation without falling into self-criticism or self-blame or blame of others. Because if you need to change, it is actually going to be easier for you to change if you are compassionate to yourself. 

Bottom line: Self-compassion is talking to yourself as you would talk to a best friend. 

This visual represents the spectrum of self-talk: 

IMG_2861.JPG

Self-compassion is a powerful practice. To learn more about self-compassion I highly recommend Kristin Neff's Ted Talk